The Unplanned Path (Part 1)
The Unplanned Path (Part 1)
by Wayne Kwok, Student Ministry Associate
We are all once a kid - innocent, trusting, and full of imagination, where stories like Cinderella gave every girl dreams of her white knight, and stories like Spiderman gave every boy their sense of heroism. Like many boys growing up with comic book stories of Superman and Spiderman, I too dreamt to be special and one day make a real difference to the world, and to be remembered as a hero. As the boy becomes a man, he comes to accept those stories are just make believe; none of us can ever be invincible or shoot web from our wrists. More importantly, we learn the system of the world does not allow us to stay as a kid one minute more than we would hope. Overtime, we learn that growing up means taking on responsibilities in life, whether you like it or not. Growing up means accepting the pain and hurts in life and coping with the scares left behind. Growing up means making the best of the two-pairs you have on hand, and not to hope for the fifth card to get you a full house. Overtime, we become a realist.
I retained much memories about my childhood toys, but some do stand out more than others: Hot Wheels, Lego and Japanese cartoons. Each shaped a part of me that even today finds its trace back to those childhood memories. Although my mom would argue that some of my characters are inherited directly from my father, such as my craziness for cars, I believe my exposure to these toys further developed my traits. I remember whenever I need to write stories of my dream career or my ambition, it’ll either be a race car driver or lego builder. As I go into my high school years, I learn of a career that can combine my love for cars, construction, and design -automobile design engineer. Hence, for the remainder of my senior high years, my only aim was to plan accordingly to the entrance requirement for mechanical engineering: completing the only four required courses; chemistry, physics, mathematics, english, and applying to universities across canada that’s best known for their engineering excellence.
I was ambitious, and determined, with high expectation of myself mostly. Yet, none prepared me for my first year university. Looking back now, I still do not quite understand why I struggled as I did. I whole-heartedly believed it was my calling to go into auto design; my passion, my artistic abilities, all paved the path to that direction. It was not for my own glorification also. I wanted to integrate all my Christian values into my studies and future career, glorifying God solely.
The end of my first year university was the beginning of my uncharted journey with God. Unable to complete my first year engineering, I was expelled from university. I was completely broken, shattered - my dreams, my ego, my plans, shattered into thousands of pieces. I questioned, doubted, angry, with myself more than with God, but I did not lose hope, I believe it was also because of my pride more than my trust in God. I continued my education in a near-by college. Initially I planned on completing the unsuccessful courses and re-enter university under engineering, but this time-out gave me a chance to reevaluate my career as an engineer. And it became my crucial turning point. As I discovered the path to my dream career might not necessary begin in engineering, I also started questioning whether this dream can become a reality. Under these circumstances and the additional knowledge in engineering, I began exploring other areas of interest, and accidentally, I stumble upon the field of geography. At that time, my only exposure to geography is from my family trip to Yellowstone six years before, and my single reason for pursuing geography is because of my marks.
Accepting change is much easier said than done because pride is as deadly a sin as greed. No matter how convincing evidences presents themselves, letting go my plans was a process that eventually took numerous years, even years after I graduate with a geography bachelor. I never truly understood why God allowed my path to make that detour, whether it was my arrogance or God’s intension, this unplanned change in my university years only paved the road to what’s ahead.
to be continued...
